My Life
by wolfyangel123
Summary: This is the story of my life, from the moment Edward left me all the way up to the moment that I die. I dont have long to live, but I'm blessed with two miracles. I'll tell you the story of how I was dying at age 18 and pregnant at the same time. R
1. Prologue

**Please R&R. New stories are flowing through me while I work on the old ones! XD**

**Prologue**

_Alone_

To be alone is such a terrifying notion. To have no friends to talk to and no family to have moments with is truly a sad thing. It scared me to think what truly alone meant and my thoughts shied away from such a word.

_Sick_

The word sick had only two meanings to me before now. The first meaning was to be ill of some kind. To be sick with a cold or a simple flu, maybe even as far as a serious illness like bronchitis. Nothing like I thought now. The second meaning was sick in the head, a mental illness. An obsession that went boarder line crazy and I knew of only one such person till now too. Thankfully the person I knew is gone from the earth and can't hurt me now, even if he still haunts me in my dreams every now and again.

_Broken_

I never knew what broken truly meant till now. I thought broken was something you could always put together or find someone who could put it together. Broke had many meanings in the word. A person could have no money, a toy or object could have a crack or stopped working because it's dead or a part needs fixed, or a body part was injured and needed to see a doctor to fix it. I never thought it could mean so much till now. Violated, Disorder, Incomplete, Weak, Grief, and all the things associated with the word Broken.

It seems I'm learning new meanings to words that my brain refused to touch. I'm learning because I have to find words to define what I am now and who I'm becoming. You see, my name is Isabella Marie Swan, or Bella as I prefer, and those words I just listed all apply to me. I lost all my family and friends, the people I thought cared about and now I learned something so shocking that gave me a new determination in life.

I have a time limit on my life now and I can't afford to waste another second of my life.

When I thought I would live till I was old, wrinkly, and grey, I found out I only have a year or two left. But that wasn't what shocked me even more. I also found out I was pregnant with twins.

This is my life and I'm determined to do everything in my power to make sure my kids find the last of their family that I know is out there in this big wide world.

**Please R&R**


	2. Finding Out

**Please read and Review. Thanks**

**Chapter 1: Finding Out**

_December 20, 2010_

The dreams. I believe that the dreams triggered it all, but then again a person can't really blame something that they have no control over. Controlling dreams is like trying to control the weather, it's next to impossible. But I do think the dreams started it all, but I can't really call them dreams. They are more like nightmares disguised by the word dream. And it's the same nightmare over and over and over again. It's frustrating really. How much can one girl live with that kind of nightmare? My heart gets broken each time I wake up to find the reality and truth that the nightmare makes me face. The reality and truth is that Edward left and never loved me. At that thought my eyes start to burn with the unshed tears that so wish to break forth.

Sigh…

I'm becoming even more pathetic than I was before I met him.

I blame the dreams when my body knows that it has had this for a while now, even before I met Edward. Fear of hospitals, blood, and needles kept me away from finding out the truth of the matter that something was wrong with my body.

Edward Cullen.

That name sends shivers of love and searing pain through my body. He is the love of my life and I know that he will be the only one I will ever love. I can't have another even if I tried. No man can spark the passion in me that he could and no man could break my heart as much as he did. The break up in the woods is the cause of my nightmares, nightly screams, and heart wrenching sobs.

I'm surprised my tears haven't dried up yet.

And poor Charlie had to deal with it all too. He would comfort me in the night while silently cursing the name Edward Cullen. He swore he would hunt the boy down and kill him for putting me through this. He was such a dear. But he slowly started to stop coming to check on me during the night, the comforting words slowly started to dry up, and then his body just got used to my screams entirely so that he slept through the night with his constant snoring.

I had so much heart break and depression piled upon my shoulders that I tried to be perfect in everything I do. I make breakfast for him, I never miss school, I studied and aced all my tests, even my dreaded Trigonometry class, I went home after school, I did all my homework, cleaned the whole house, made dinner, then went to bed. I had order in my life though I vaguely remember going through the same motions every day.

I was on auto pilot till two months after Edward left. Another incident changed my life and snapped me out of my temporary stupor. Charlie left me too. Though his leaving was more unwilling and wasn't his choice. Charlie had a severe heart attack during a break-in robbery at a convenience store. He died in the ambulance. The doctor said that it was caused by high blood pressure caused by stress and lack of sleep along with the fat build up around his heart and arteries. I blame myself for the stress and lack of sleep.

I caused his stress because of my behavior over Edward leaving. I'm amazed that I can still think his name without crumbling to the ground in a sobbing mass of body parts. Oh wait, I do still do that.

Sigh, here comes the pathetic parade.

Charlie's lawyer read his will and all that was entitled to me. I got his pension plan, money that he saved up, the deed to the house, and whatever else he owned. I kept his things in a trunk I found, I sold the house, and I put the money that he gave me in my savings account. I had a pretty penny by the time everything was done and over with. I moved into a house I thought I would never step foot in again. I moved into the Cullen's house.

I choose Edward's bedroom for my own and I denied the voice in the back of my mind that told me the reason I choose it was to be closer to him.

I told myself it was for the view only.

Thankfully the water still ran, along with the heat and other necessities. I pulled off all the white sheets in the living room and piano room. I left all the other rooms alone since I knew it was not my place to venture in rooms that were not my own. I kept telling myself that I was only staying here till I found a new place to stay, but I knew that I never wanted to leave this house again. I knew the Cullens were not coming back anytime soon, probably not till I was dead and long gone, but I still hoped they would come back.

I arranged for an early graduation plan, since I had no reason to still be in school because I had no friends. They agreed, whether it was out of pity or my good grades, I don't know and I don't care. I was going to graduate a year before my class at the end of the school year.

A month after Charlie died, I coughed up blood.

I knew I had a bit of a cough that I could hold back for two years now, but it started getting worse after James attacked me. Edward was concerned at first, but I told him it was a cold, and it was for the most part, that was what the doctor said. It went away after the cold was gone, and it was back to a cough here a cough there. My chest pains increased too after James attacked and it full out hurts to the point of tears and not wanting to move after Edward left. I never told Edward about the chest pains since I always put these symptoms to the back of my mind. The headaches increased to everyday, all day with a slight relief towards the end of the day until it came back with a vengeance in the morning when I woke up, at 3 a.m. Now my vision was blurring when I walked and I was more short of breath after hurrying to class. My natural clumsiness doubled and weight was rolling off me like water. Vomiting also started to pop up just after Edward left.

Angela noticed the blood in my hand when I first coughed it up in the girl's bathroom at school after I left the lunch from a nasty comment from Lauren. I didn't care what she said one bit, but I was tired of hearing her snide remarks. Angela, the dear that she is, followed me to see if I was okay.

That was when I coughed it up. Blood, a few specks of blood dotted my hand. Angela panicked, told me to go to the doctors, no the hospital, right now. I numbly went there, knowing the only reason why I was going was because I wanted to reassure Angela that I was okay, but I knew I was fooling myself since I was also worried too.

I went to the ER, told the nurse at the station in blue sterile scrubs all my symptoms, then I was whisked away into a room, made to sit on a stiff hospital bed that crinkled when I sat, told to change into a gown, and was left there for a few minutes till a nurse came back. Everything went by in a blur for me as my lungs were checked, heart checked, blood was drawn, blood pressure taken before I was whisked away again for an MRI test before I was back in the room. I waited for another 30 minutes though it felt longer, till a doctor finally came in.

My heart broke a little when a grey haired man walked in instead of Carlisle. He sat in a swivel stool, looked at a file in his hand, then lifted his head to look at me and held his hand out.

"Hello, Miss Swan, My name is Dr. Thomas, and I got the results of your MRI. The blood tests will come back in a week to confirm our speculations on what you have." I watched him roll over on the stool to a light board where he clipped on an X-Ray picture of my head. The light clicked on so I could see the picture of my brain better. He scooted to the side so I could see and lifted his finger to a slightly different grey part of the picture on my brain.

"This, Bella, is a brain tumor." The doctor said solemnly. The noises drained from my ears as my brain, my cancerous brain, processed the only two words that made my life crumble before me. A brain tumor. I was sick with a brain tumor.

The doctor's medical terms went in one ear and a few stuck there as others went out the other ear. Terminal, possible other cancer spots, been there a few years, build up, cause of clumsiness. A myriad of words that I didn't understand and didn't want to understand at that moment left his mouth as I suddenly realized that I was going to be going through all this alone. I broke ties with my mother after Charlie died, so I knew she wouldn't fully care. I have no clue where the Cullens are and I had no more family.

Then the doctor started to talk about treatment plans, surgery, radiation treatments, chemotherapy, though none this will start without further knowledge till the blood work comes back. I still sat frozen till a passing smell of coffee wafted under the door to fill the room. My stomach tumbled in knots and bile rose in my throat as I ran towards the door, ripped it open and bolted to the bath room. The doctor ran after me and found me kneeling in front of the toilet, emptying out the contents of my stomach. When I was done I washed my mouth out and faced the doctor.

"I'm sorry, the smell of coffee made me sick." I apologized with my head down, hiding my blush of embarrassment. Dr. Thomas had a strange look on his face. "Miss Swan, would you mind if I did an ultra sound, just to rule out something." I nodded, seeing nothing wrong with that, though I was a bit worried on why he wanted to rule something out and I was hoping he would tell me regardless if he found something or not.

He told me to lie on the table, pull my gown up to expose my stomach, which I then realized it looked bigger than when I last really looked at it, though that was three months ago, and a nurse wheeled in a strange looking machine with a screen on it. Gel was applied to the wand before it was pressed to my stomach. I shivered at the coolness of it as the machine came to life then. The doctor moved the wand around on my stomach, a frown marring his face before he stopped moving the wand. I watched as a slight smile came on his face as he stared at an image on the grey and black screen.

"Congratulations are in order after the bad news now." He pointed to a section of the screen where a small blob that looked like a body was. "This, Bella, is your baby. "

**Please read and Review. Thank you!**


	3. Carlisle

**Chapter 2: Carlisle**

"Can you hear its heart beat?" there was a fluttering sound as a small heart beat raced along with mine. The doctor then had a brief look of confusion as he moved the wand slightly from the baby. "Well, it looks like there is a Baby B in here too. You are having twins Miss Swan." Another baby was moving around slightly while its heart raced along with its siblings. I had tears in my eyes as I knew whose children were in my stomach at that moment.

Edward's children.

"This is a very rare occurrence since most cancer patients do not get pregnant when they have cancer, and it's even rarer for a cancer patient to be having twins. You are going to have to be careful from now on. By the looks of these babies, they are very healthy, growing just fine, and about 12 to 13 weeks old. I want you to come in every week now and if you have cancer anywhere else, I'm going to have to check you in the hospital so we can start treatment immediately. Also, I'll do treatments that won't harm the babies." The doctor explained.

My lips trembled. "Doctor, can you video record this and print pictures out? And I know I'm going to sound crazy, but I don't want treatment while I'm pregnant, I just want to give birth to these healthy miracles." I couldn't stop staring at the two babies that were floating in my womb. They were so perfect, so wonderful, and a selfish part of me wished Edward was here with here witnessing the little miracles we created.

The doctor turned to me wide-eyed, "Miss Swan, I don't know if the cancer will allow you to live yet to go full term, and I don't know if the cancer will harm the babies yet or not, but not seeking treatment immediately will only cause more harm than good." I glared at the doctor, my hormones already starting to become present. "Doctor, I know all that, but I don't want treatment while pregnant. That doesn't mean I won't get treatment at all. I'll start treatment as soon as I recover from birthing them. If I don't make it and there is a possibility that you can save my babies, then please do so. They have family they can go to be watched over. The father is alive and well along with his family. Please do not argue with me or I will go somewhere else for a doctor that will meet my requirements."

_I'll hunt Carlisle down_, I thought. I wanted the whole family there, but Carlisle would have to do. If I died, he would make the choice to save me or let me die, but I would make sure he took in my babies. They were Edward's children after all and they would be half-vampire. Carlisle would keep them safe and teach them everything. My instincts screamed at me that the cancer would kill me so I knew that my children would out live me, for however long that might be.

The doctor sighed, handed me a wet cloth to wipe my stomach, while he sent for the pictures and videos for me. He also wrote down a prescription for prenatal vitamins, a list of things I should and shouldn't eat, and activities to keep me active. I thanked him with a smile, told him I would see him next week for my blood test results and ultrasound. The lady at the front desk gave me the DVD of my ultrasound along with the pictures. As soon as I got back to the Cullen's house, I grabbed a sharpie and labeled the DVD as Pregnancy-12 weeks along.

That night, I was nightmare free. I dreamt of twins with bronze hair and green eyes and my Greek Adonis holding them in his arms with a proud and loving smile on his face. I woke up with tears streaming down my eyes, knowing that that dream would never come true.

I got up out of bed, feeling exhausted and a migraine pounding away in my head. I had plans today that involved early graduation, a new car, baby items, and a few phone calls.

Well best get started.

I started with school, calling in and telling them my situation and the reason I needed an early graduation. They relented with little persuasion since early graduation was a few weeks away. With that done, I got into my ancient red truck, relishing my last ride in it since I knew the babies would need to be in a safe, child friendly car.

Edward would be so proud that I'm getting a new car.

I drove to the car dealership in Seattle and started to browse. I stopped at a car that I found I really like: a Volvo XC60 in Metallic Twilight Bronze. My heart clenched at the thought of driving a Volvo, since Edward had one, but I fell in love with this car and a small voice whispered it was because I wanted to be closer to Edward. I paid for it and the dealer agreed to scrap my car for me, while I drove in the comfy black leather seats.

I drove to the mall next for some shopping. I headed for the little bookstore in the mall on the bottom floor. I headed in and started to grab at baby books that I wanted.

While I was looking, I also got a journal that had a beautiful scene with a full moon hanging in a dark sky that had faint stars peeking out, purple kissed the green grass that seemed to be illuminated from the moon and white wild flowers sprouted forth from the grass. The scene on the book made tears prick my eyes as a memory popped up.

"_Twilight, the safest part of the day when a vampire can come out. It also signifies the end of one day and the beginning of a new. To me, it's when darkness and light finally meet in perfection." Edward smirked down at me as his arms snaked around my waist. We were standing in front of his window wall, staring out at the view, enjoying our alone time together since the rest of the family was out hunting. I leaned back against his bare chest, the sheet protecting my modesty, and laced our fingers together on top of my waist. _

"_Mmm, darkness and light, huh? Is that supposed to have an underlying meaning to it?" I teased him, as I looked up into his too innocent golden eyes. He chuckled, kissing my forehead, before he replied. "Of course, you are my light that brightens my darkened world. My perfect Bella." I shook my head at his sweet words, a smile dancing on my lips. I leaned up to kiss his perfect lips. "Such a sweet talker," I murmured against his lips. He just chuckled again and led us back to bed. _

I was sure that was the day we conceived our little miracles since after that my birthday happened and he left. I then found two photo albums that I just had to get for my babies. They were both black, with a green vine with white flowers blooming on it and the vines were going up the sides of the books, white flowers with green stems and grass sat along the bottom of the books. In the center of each book was a place to put a picture in. I was now glad that I got several copies of the ultrasound pictures. I went straight for the counter to pay for my items.

After the book store, I decided to get a few pieces of maternity clothes for when I got bigger. I had a bump that was only noticeable if I wore clothes that hugged my skin and since I only wore baggy tops, I never truly noticed till now, but I did wondered on why my jeans were getting smaller. I got a couple of tops and jeans, along with a dress for special occasions though it was more like a summer dress that just flowed straight down to my ankles that was made out of a material that would stretch over my stomach till I was full term.

The lady behind the counter looked at me strange and I mumbled out that my friend was pregnant and had work. I didn't want everyone to know I was 18 and pregnant.

God I sound like a bad TV drama. 18, alone, pregnant, and with cancer, scratch that, a very bad TV drama.

I was done with shopping and I stopped in the food court to satisfy my craving for salty French fries at McDonald's. I scarfed them down and headed out to my new car.

Once I reached home I took a nap, realizing just how exhausted I was. When I woke up again, I saw that it was night time. I groaned as I stretched my sore body and quickly headed to the bathroom to pee. I wanted to change out of my day clothes into something comfy since I was now wide awake. I opened Edward's closet, surprised to see most of his clothes in there before I figured out that Alice probably bought him a whole new wardrobe once they reached a new place. I grabbed a baggy white shirt of his that smelled heavenly of him. I quickly put it on and hugged it to my body, closing my eyes. With my eyes closed it almost felt as if he was hugging me with his strong arms wrapped around my waist and his hands resting protectively over my baby bump.

Tears finally spilled over on my cheeks as I finally snapped. I cried my heart out as I crouched close to the ground, rocking back and forth. When the tears finally died I saw that I was crying for an hour and my eyes were probably red and swollen. I didn't care much as I got up to go to Carlisle's office.

I searched his office for a map so I could eliminate possible areas that I knew had too much sun and areas that I wasn't sure about. I don't know if they would go out of country, but it didn't hurt to try that after I was done with this country. I would call into each and every hospital or school board for Cullen's or Hale's till I find them.

I sank down into Carlisle's comfy desk chair, a giant map of the states and big cities spread out before me on his desk. Thankfully his desk top computer still worked and didn't have a password to get in. I didn't know where to start as I looked all over the map.

I sighed.

Alright, guess I'm gonna start with New York.

Several phone calls later to different hospitals in every place I could think of and still no one named Cullen, or Carlisle, or even Hale.

They covered their tracks well.

I laid my head down on the cool mahogany desk, feeling a massive headache bloom again and I whimpered in pain. I was getting frustrated at not being able to find the Cullens and frustrated at my own weak self.

Was it so much to ask to just find them?

I didn't think it was.

I closed my eyes and silently sent a prayer of help up to God.

"Try Alaska," A cool, familiar voice said in front of me.

My eyes snapped open and my head lifted to see my Greek God crouched across from me, his arms crossed atop the desk with his head lying on his arms, a smile played along his lips and his golden eyes glittered at me in the faint light that came from the lamp besides me. His bronze hair was still in its tousled mess that it has always been in.

"Edward…" I breathed quietly.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

I blinked once.

Twice.

Three times and he still hadn't left.

He chuckled, "Silly Bella, but still beautiful." My hand trembled as I reached across the desk to touch his face. It was ice cold and stone like just as I remembered it. He leaned his head towards my hand and lifted an eyebrow in amusement. "Oh, Edward!" I leaped from my seat and rushed into his arms that closed around me. I sobbed into his chest, as every thought left my mind until only one was left.

He was here.

"Edward, oh Edward! I have so much to tell you. Is the others here, or only you? Is Carlisle here? If he is I need to talk to him." I continued to sob a bit as I stared up at his face, a wide smile across both of our faces. He chuckled again and lifted a finger to push a strand of hair behind my ear. "Slow down Love. I'm the only one here." My face fell a bit, but then I was determined to tell him everything right now. "Edward, I'm 12 weeks pregnant and I know it is your child."

_Tell him the good news before the bad news, so he doesn't freak out too much_, I thought.

He flashed his crooked grin that always made my heart race and his eyes danced with pride and joy. "I know Love, I know everything. Even about the cancer. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, Bella." His eyes saddened a bit.

I was confused, how did he know about everything when he just got here?

I opened my mouth to ask him to explain when he put a finger on my mouth. "Shh, Love, Carlisle should be in Alaska since that is where our cousins live, remember? He has night shift at the moment so you will be able to talk to him tonight." Edward led me over to the chair and gently lowered me down to sit by my shoulders. I grabbed the phone as I saw Edward point at Juneau, Alaska. I found the phone number for the hospital and I felt Edward's lips brush my forehead as I smiled up at him as the phone started to ring. I focused my gaze forward, picking at the end of Edward's shirt that I wore, as nervous butterflies erupted in my stomach.

I heard the phone pick up just before a receptionist lady said, "Hello, this is Juneau Hospital, how may I help you?" I tried to even my breathing and hoped my voice came out steady. "Hello, is a man named Carlisle Cullen currently there or works there?" I heard some clicking on her end before she responded. "Yes, Dr. Cullen is currently working here and is on shift tonight. He is in his office at the moment since no surgeries are scheduled for him tonight." I breathed a silent sigh of relief. "Thank you, can I please talk to him? He is my doctor. Tell him that it is Isabella Marie Swan calling to ask him about a few things." I crossed my fingers. "Alright ma'am, please hold on one moment." The bad elevator music started to pour through the phone and I looked back up to Edward, only to see him gone. My heart broke a little, but I figured he went out to hunt after being away from me for so long. "Alright, Miss Swan, I'm transferring your call over now, please hold." The receptionist said again as the elevator music returned.

A few seconds later, I heard a musical voice say, "Bella?"


	4. Coming Home

**This Chapter is shorter than the rest, but still good in my opinion. You learn a bit more about Bella's health in this chapter. Please R&R**

**Chapter 3: Coming Home**

_December 21, 2010_

_12 weeks along_

"Bella?" I heard Carlisle's melodious voice question over the phone. I almost broke down in tears again. "Carlisle!" my voice cracked as I broke down crying again. I missed them way too much to not cry, plus I had two babies in my tummy so that coupled the hormones a bit too.

"Bella, what's wrong? Are you hurt? How did you find me?" Carlisle's worried tone slowly broke me out of my crying fest. "Carlisle, I will answer all your questions, but first please hear me out. I really want you to know this." So I started to tell him everything, to what happened when they left all the way down to what I found out, I even told him about what happened to Charlie and Mom. "Carlisle, I don't think I will live a whole lot longer, so can you please promise me that when I die, you will take care of my children?" I couldn't help but sniffle a bit and a few tears leaked out of my eyes at the thought of leaving my children so early in their life. I silently vowed to take as many pictures of me as I could, so they will know what I looked like. Hopefully their father will be raising them so they won't be completely parentless.

"Bella…" I could hear Carlisle's voice crack with sadness too, "I promise you I will do everything in my power to help you." I breathed a sigh of relief, thanking whatever God that gave me this small break in life. "Thank you Carlisle."

"Of course Bella. Now how did you find out where I work?" He questioned.

Well that wasn't a very hard thing to answer and I did say he could ask anything he wanted.

"Edward told me." I simply answered, a smile stretching across my face at the reminder that Edward was back. "Edward?" I heard Carlisle question in disbelief. "Yep! He came back and told me to try calling Juneau, Alaska and said that the family would be there since your cousins live there." I was so happy to be talking to my second father again.

I loved Charlie, but I couldn't tell him everything in my life like I could with Carlisle. Carlisle would understand me more than my actual father could, and that saddened me a bit, but I guess it was because Charlie and I were so close personality wise that it caused us to fall out a bit and made us both awkward about talking about feelings.

"Bella…" Carlisle's voice sounded hesitant, like he wanted to tell or ask me something.

"Yes?" I answered.

"Never mind, it's nothing. Alice, Jasper, Esme and I will be there tomorrow to help you through all this." My eyes widened at this.

I didn't want him to uproot his whole family to move again, plus they just left so wouldn't it be strange that they would move right back. And how long will they stay before they have to move away again. "No! Carlisle you don't have to uproot everyone to move again for me. I'll be fine, plus wont it be strange since you just moved away only to come back again?" I heard him chuckling over the phone. "Silly Bella, we are fine with abrupt moves like this. Plus, if you are worried about Rosalie, then don't. Emmett and Rosalie are on a year or two honeymoon in Europe, so they won't bother you so much. I'm sure the family will be thrilled to see you again also." I still felt bad about them having to move again so soon, but I also felt happy at them coming back. I suddenly felt really exhausted and I loudly yawned, making him chuckled again. "Sounds like someone is tired. Go to bed hun, I'll see you tomorrow." I mumbled out a sleepy goodbye and hung up the phone.

I willed my tired body up and towards Edward's room. I opened the door and smiled when I saw him lying on the bed on his side, with a crooked grin in place. I smiled widely at him too and crawled in next to his body, pulling the sheets up around me. He laid his hand on my bump over the covers and hummed my lullaby till I fell asleep.

When I woke up again, Edward was gone, but there was someone petting my hair in a soothing manner behind me. I turned my head to see Carlisle in his pale glory sitting on the edge of the bed. I rolled over on my back, my bones protesting along with my head as I stared up at him with a sleepy smile. He smiled back softly.

"How are you feeling?" the doctor in him appeared before me. I chuckled, a husky sound caused by sleep and pain. "I've felt better." I answered. He shot me a look. I sighed, "My head feels like it's splitting apart, my body aches a lot, I feel like I'm going to puke, and I'm really tired too." He nodded, no doubt taking notes in his head. I sat up quickly and rushed to the bathroom, my stomach getting rid of its contents. Carlisle was right behind me, holding my hair back and getting a warm wash cloth at the same time.

I accepted the cloth greatly. "The family is downstairs waiting for when you are ready to come down. May I ask where Edward is?" Carlisle helped me up and helped me walk out of the room. I instantly spotted Edward sitting on the edge of his bed, concern softening his bright golden eyes. "He's right there Carlisle." I pointed straight at Edward, smiling happily.

Carlisle's eyebrows drew together in confusion as he looked to where I was pointing. His eyes turned back to me, worry, concern, and a hint of fear present in his butterscotch eyes. "Bella, no one is there," he said slowly.

I was confused. Edward was sitting right there, staring at me like he always does, yet Carlisle can't see him?

Something was wrong.

Warning bells were going off inside my head as I looked at Carlisle's face. "But, he's right there Carlisle!" I was starting to panic. If Edward wasn't there, then was Carlisle also not here along with the rest of the family down stairs?

But I could clearly feel Carlisle!

I could also feel Edward last night, my brain reasoned. "Bella, brain tumors can cause hallucinations. It may be your sub-conscious mind trying to manifest the person you want most to experience this time period in your life."

I was becoming terrified. If Edward was a hallucination, than was Carlisle one too? "Carlisle, are you truly here then or are you a figment of my imagination too?" Carlisle looked heartbroken at my question and drew me into his arms. "Bella I'm truly here." I took a little reassurance from that and turned my gaze onto Edward, who was still there. "Are you truly real too?"

His eyes turned sad and a sad smile appeared on his face. "No, Love, I'm not truly here. I don't know where the real me is. I'm just a figment of your imagination because you wished that I was here with all of your might. I always believed you had an active imagination." He had a slight teasing tone towards the end, but it saddened me to know that the one person I wanted here the most was not here.

I broke down crying in Carlisle's arms.

I felt so crushed at the knowledge that Edward truly didn't love me and all the promises he broke to me and now I have to raise his children. I grieved over the loss of my life and over the fact that I won't get to raise my children too. I don't know how long I was crying in his arms, but my tears finally dried up. Carlisle drew away from me, wiping the tears off my cheeks.

"Are you alright now?" I smiled up at him. I was tired and sad, but I wanted to see the family. He seemed to understand that. He led me down the stairs, where I could see Esme, Jasper, and Alice waiting for me all with a smile on their faces. As soon as my foot hit the bottom of the stairs, Esme rushed over to engulf me in a motherly hug. I hugged her back tight, loving the feeling of being held by her again. Alice danced over to me next and gave me a hug too and that was a tearful greeting too.

Jasper surprised me by picking me up in a hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck in surprise as my feet dangled. "You smell different." He observed as he sat me down and it was also a way to explain the sudden hug.

I was again confused.

He noticed and smiled slightly, "You still smell good, but in the ways humans think a candle smells good. It's nice, but not something you want to eat. It must be because of you being pregnant with half-vampires."

Ah, now I understood. Well thank god for being pregnant with miracles.

I smiled at him, happy that I could have a sibling relationship with him.

Jasper smiled back at me, understanding the emotion I was feeling.

"Welcome home." I said the long overdue words to a small part of my family.

**Yes, it's true, Edward is just a figment of Bell's imagination. For now. Alright my lovely readers, review as much as you can and tell me your thoughts, ideas, and hopes for the future of this story. **

**Please R&R! Thank you.**


	5. Results

**Chapter 4 finally here! **

**Please R&R!**

**Chapter 4: Results**

_December 27, 2010_

_13 weeks along_

The week waiting for my test results was hell, simply put. I felt awful getting up every morning, throwing up, with a headache on top of that and my body aching too. All I wanted at the end of the first week of knowing what the doctor told me was my Edward. The Cullens that were with me tried everything to make me comfortable and doted on me like I was a china doll.

I hated it.

I wasn't as weak as they thought I was.

I know I'm pregnant with twins and I know I have cancer that gives me a time limit, but I'm not so weak to push aside the pain and move on with my life. I only had one wish to fulfill and that was to see and kiss Edward one last time. None of the Cullens mentioned me being changed if I do happen to die, since my expiration date hasn't been figured out yet until I go back to the doctor's. Carlisle thinks that I'll last a year or two, but doing a natural labor might kill me. He believe that a C-section will be the best option for me and if I live through giving birth, I will be able to spend some time with the babies before I die.

Alice was still Alice. She wanted to drag me shopping right away because I still had horrible taste in fashion and she wanted to do Bella Barbie on me. I didn't mind Bella Barbie as much anymore because I fall asleep five minutes into it. When I do wake up to see myself all done up, Alice huffs at me in annoyance for falling asleep during one of her 'master pieces'.

I truly don't care.

I always hated Bella Barbie and the only reason it lessened down to dislike was because I now fall asleep during it.

Jasper and I became really close during this past week also. It was easier for him to be around me now since my blood had no appeal anymore. We enjoyed our talks about history. He taught me how to play chess and video games, though he said if I wanted a master at it go to Emmett. It was also nice to just sit in peace and quiet in a room together with both of us reading a book. Jasper was one of the few people that understood me the most in the Cullen house. Jasper was also the only one that could calm me down and keep me calm besides Edward.

I asked Alice to find Edward for me one day and she was doing her best at looking for him, but she said that he was blocking her. I also made Alice swear to me not to see into my future too much and that if she sees the gender of the children, she couldn't do anything, not even shop, until I found out by the doctor. Thankfully Jasper was there to stop her temper tantrum.

She begrudgingly agreed though.

Esme was thrilled to be back and went into her mother roll straight away. She made all my cravings happy by making delicious foods. Esme also agreed to help me with the nursery when the time came. I wanted it to be a mother-daughter project even though I was sick. Esme doted on me a lot though, always asking me if I wanted anything. I told her all my problems and fears since she was just that kind of person who you told everything too. She helped me when times got rough during the week.

I was thankful that Jasper was an empath too. Every time Carlisle asked me if I was feeling alright, Jasper answered for me, since he could tell just as well as I could.

I was excited on the day of my appointment because I got to see my little babies again with new pictures and videos. So I didn't mind much when Jasper offered to take me since everyone else had to go hunting.

Jasper went hunting last night.

He helped me into his truck before getting in and sped down the road at normal Cullen speed aka over 100 mph.

"I'm going to stay in the parking lot, so the blood won't tempt me as much." Jasper told me as we parked in front of the hospital. I nodded and quickly kissed his cheek in thanks before hopping out. I rubbed my bump to sooth my nerves at finding out the rest of my blood work and how the twins were doing. The receptionist smiled at me as she told me the doctor was waiting for me down the hall and to my left. I made my way to the room and sat on the stiff bed like last time. A few minutes later Dr. Thomas walked in with a folder in his hand.

"How are you Bella?" he smiled kindly at me, the wrinkles crinkling around his green eyes.

"I've been better, but I'm excited to see the twins again." I told him honestly that nothing has really changed over the past week. I still don't want treatment while pregnant and he thankfully accepted that fact.

"Well Bella, your blood tests came back, and you do have terminal brain and lung cancer. The lung cancer most likely caused the brain cancer. Do you want to know how long you will last?" he asked kindly. I took a deep breath, not expecting to have more cancer. I wasn't going to cry though. I was done crying for a lifetime. I had a new goal in life and that was to see my babies in my arms.

"Will I be able to give birth to my babies?" I asked instead. He nodded, "But a normal birthing will most likely kill you. A C-section is the safest route with little risk to aggravate your cancer. The twins probably won't have cancer when they are born, but we'll check to be on the safe side." I nodded. That was all I needed to hear. I didn't care how long my expiration date was, just as long as I will be able to live long enough to birth them.

I was happy when he finished on the bad news and went onto baby news. It took a few minutes to put the gel on and the ultrasound machine up, but when it was on, my eyes were glued to the screen, watching as my babies moved around a bit. I saw a foot move on Baby A while Baby B was sucking its thumb. I swear that was the cutest thing! "Looks like things are going well in the womb. I'll get several pictures ready for you and the video. They will be waiting for you at the front desk. I'll see you next week then Bella."

I was on cloud nine when I hopped in the car with Jasper. He raised his eyebrow at me, wondering about my good mood. I showed him the baby pictures then and gave him Alice's and his copy. He chuckled as he looked at the grey images. "How were the test results?" he pulled out of the hospital and sped towards the Cullen house. I started to bite my lip, "Not the best. I have terminal brain and lung cancer, but he said that I will be able to live to the birth of my babies though I don't know how long I'll live after that. He advises I have a C-section done, since it will be less risky." Jasper stayed quiet for the rest of the ride home. I didn't know what to say as I gently traced the ultrasound pictures. A part of me wished the twins were already here and in my arms, while another part of me was glad that they were protected from the world a little longer.

When we reached the Cullen house, I jumped out of the truck and headed to the piano room. I wanted to be close to Edward at the moment and I knew that besides the bedroom, this was the only room I could be close to him. I sat down in the black leather lounge chair that Edward bought a week into our dating for when I came over and he played for me. I pulled my legs up beside me, propping my head up on my hand as I closed my eyes, replaying that moment, wishing that I was there once again.

A deep chuckle broke me from my daydream. "You know love, if you wanted me here, all you had to do was think." I opened my eyes to see Edward sitting on the piano bench in the outfit he wore when he first played for me. "This isn't healthy for me, you know." I replied, silently wishing it was the real one instead of the hallucination. "Bella, I know, but if it helps you in anyway, then I'm glad. I hate to see when you're in pain," he stated, truth rung in his brownish-gold eyes.

I might as well milk it for all it's worth then.

"You need to hunt," I simply stated.

He flashed his crooked grin. Even though he is a hallucination, that grin still makes my heart race. "I don't want to leave you alone, besides, your blood doesn't tempt me anymore." He was cheeky now, I see.

I narrowed my eyes at him playfully. "So, does that mean you will change me now?" I challenged.

He barked a laugh, sweet music to my ears. "Love, you know the real me, he would never change you because he doesn't want to ruin your chances at heaven and he doesn't want to take your soul." 'Edward' looked down at the keys before him, lightly touching the ivory keys, producing a wonderful noise that filled my body with peace.

I huffed in annoyance. "I wish he would let me choose my own life instead of choosing it for me. I'm going to have to teach him to give our kids the option of choice instead of choosing life for them." 'Edward' chuckled, looking back up at me.

"Good luck with that Love. We both know that you and real me are stubborn as mules." I rolled my eyes playfully at him.

"I saw the cutest thing today. Baby B was sucking on its thumb! Oh, I can't wait for our babies to be born, Edward. We are going to spoil them so much, but not too much though. We'll have to reign in Alice with all the shopping and spoiling." I giggled as I leaned back in the chair. He chuckled, shaking his head, making his bronze locks fall into his eyes. Peaceful silence rested in the room as we sat there.

I bit my lip as the question formed in my mind and tumbled from my lips, "What exactly are you?"

'Edward' raised his head to look at me. A sigh flowed from his pouty lips then. "I am Edward, but not the real one. I'm the Edward from your memories, combined with your wishes of what you want me to be and your subconscious." I sat there, mulling that over, as he waited patiently.

"So, you're the perfect Edward then." I grinned. He chuckled, "Essentially, yes, 'I' am."

"Can I call you Eddie instead of Edward then? Since two Edward's would get confusing." He looked at me with annoyance on his face. "No, you may not Love. I am still Edward, just with your modifications." I giggled, "I was just teasing hun." He rolled his eyes, going back to fiddling with the keys, pressing down on notes that only I could hear.

"What are you doing?" I couldn't help but wonder at why he was messing with the keys. 'Edward' looked up, a dazzling smile spread across his face. "I'm creating a new lullaby for our kids."

Tears came to my eyes at that moment and I sorely wished he was real at this moment. I breathed in a couple times to control my emotions. A sudden thought made me sober. "Would you be here still if I didn't have the cancer?"

'Edward' didn't quite look at me in the eyes when he responded. "I will always be a part of you, but you wouldn't have been able to see me as easily as you do now. You would need an adrenaline rush to be able to see me if you weren't sick." I looked at him, confused on why I would need an adrenaline rush.

His smile was strained when he answered, "The adrenal glands would go into over drive, giving you the adrenaline rush, but adrenaline rushes cause people to do stupid, crazy, or amazing things. You promised me that you wouldn't do anything that would put you in danger, therefore, cause an adrenaline rush. I would be your subconscious defense, since you would listen to me when you are in a dangerous situation. But because of the added depression you would have felt, it would back fire, most likely causing you to crave my voice and putting yourself in more danger." He explained lightly, surprising me that a logical explanation came from my own hallucination.

I groaned then making him look up at me quickly with worry in his eyes. "Great, I was going to become an adrenaline junky if the cancer and pregnancy hadn't come along." 'Edward's' lips twitched before he busted out laughing, making me roll my eyes and smile at hearing his musical laugher again.

'Edward' got up from the bench then and made his way over to me. He crouched down in front of me, placing his hand on top of my bump, and rubbing softly over it. "Can I see the pictures of our twins?" he questioned softly, looking at me with hope and loved filled eyes. How can I say no to that look?

I pulled out the ultrasound pictures and showed them to him. He beamed like a little boy at Christmas with a pile of presents a mile high. His finger traced Baby A before he traced Baby B. "I think they got your nose." He told me.

I couldn't help it, but I busted out laughing at that.

I heard movement by the door when I finally calmed down from my laughing fit, to see Jasper looking very worried and a horrified Rosalie behind him with an equally concerned Emmett.

I glanced back to see 'Edward' was gone. I groaned. _Great, they probably think I went insane because of the cancer now_, I though grimly as I got up to greet them.

**Well, chapter is done and new one has been started in Word. In my opinion, I think is is both cute and sad that Bella is hallucinating Edward and having a discussion about the babies with him. Well tell me your thoughts, ideas, and hopes for the story in a REVIEW. **

**Please R&R**


	6. Rosy and Emmy

**Chapter 5: Rosy and Emmy**

_December 27, 2010_

_13 weeks_

I sat on the white couch in the living room, fiddling with my fingers and biting my bottom lip again. Jasper sat beside me, still with a worried look, while Rosalie and Emmett sat across from me, probably wondering if I had gone crazy because of the cancer. "Are you sure you are not the mind-reader in the family?" 'Edward' teased behind me, leaning forward on his arms on the back of the couch.

I ignored him.

I was mad at him for making me look crazy and I was mad at myself for indulging in my hallucination. I finally spoke when my nerves had enough, "So, when did you get here?"

Rosalie snapped out of it first. Emmett still looked highly concerned for my mental state. "We got here about 5 hours ago. We went hunting when you were at the hospital. Alice called us and explained the situation. Bella, were you seriously just talking to yourself just now?" I swallowed hard, not liking this turn of events. I knew Rosalie didn't like me very much and she'll probably down right hate me and commit me when she finds out the truth of what I was just doing. But I suck at lying so that was not an option.

"Before you judge, please hear me out first?" I pleaded, looking up at them with tears in my eyes. I lowered my eyes again.

I really couldn't look at them while telling them this.

"Alright Bellsy," Emmett finally spoke in a quiet voice.

I took a deep breath before I started telling them everything from start to finish. They all seemed surprised when I was finished and they even looked sympathetic.

I just hoped none of them pity me.

I actually don't regret hallucination Edward. In a way he keeps me sane and he keeps me company when I feel really down. "So let me get this straight," Emmett started, making me look up at him, "Your brain cancer is causing you to hallucinate Eddie boy because he is the person you want the most to experience this event in your life."

Wow, Emmett sounded smart for once.

I heard a growl behind me, "Don't call me Eddie, Emmy." 'Edward' growled. I looked at him, giving him a pointed stare that clearly stated, 'He can't hear you, idiot.'

I turned back to Emmett. "Yep, that sums it up Emmy." A little revenge for hallucination Edward was a little sad, but hey, he couldn't do it so why not I do it?

Emmett blinked with his mouth wide open, while Jasper and Rosalie snickered. "Emmy?" he shouted incredulously. I pointed my finger at him, "Hey, you called Edward 'Eddie' so why don't I get to call you Emmy to defend him?" 'Edward' huffed in triumph behind me. "Well, damn, you got me there. Who knew Bella could play a little dirty?" Emmett boomed, making me wince at his loudness. Rosalie smacked the back of his head.

"How far along are you Bella?" Rosalie asked. I blinked, a bit surprised at the question. "Um, 13 weeks." I got up quickly, heading for my purse by the door. I dug around a bit and then came back to stand in front of here. I held out my ultrasound picture for them. "Here, this is your picture that I wanted to give you. I know it's a little strange for me to be giving out ultrasound pictures, but I want everyone in the family to have a copy." Rosalie took it gently from my hands, a soft look crossing her face as she stared at my babies. Emmett leaned over to look at the ultrasounds too.

"They look like aliens Bellsy." Emmett chuckled. I glared at him, really pissed off that he would consider my miracles to be some freakin' alien. Rosalie smacked the back of his head. Hard. "Shut up Emmett. They are both beautiful Bella."

A look crossed over her face and she stood up straight before me. "Bella, can we go talk somewhere private?" I was very nervous, but I trusted her enough that she wouldn't hurt me. I slowly nodded my head as she led me up to Edward's room.

I sat down on the golden comforter as she sat down across from me. "Bella, I want to tell you the reason why I don't like you very much." I blinked in surprised as pain flashed briefly over her perfect face.

"Oh, Rosalie, you don't have to if you don't want to. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." She chuckled a bit. "Family calls me Rose, Bella."

I nodded slowly, "Rose."

She smiled, "Alright, let's start from the beginning. I was born in 1915 in Rochester New York. I was born into a comfy life because my father worked at a bank. My mother took care of me and my two younger brothers. I was born beautiful and since I was constantly praised it made me vain and self-centered. My father spoiled me with dresses and both of my parents were proud by my good looks. My friends were jealous of me and the men admired me. I thought my life was perfect." Rosalie had a faraway look on her face and I didn't dare interrupt her. "My parents wanted to keep going higher on the social scale, but I was happy knowing that I was Rosalie Hale, the most beautiful girl there was. My mother wanted me to go to the bank one day to deliver my father's lunch. I caught the eye of Royce King, my father's boss's son. We became engaged soon after we met and a week before our wedding, I visited my friend Vera. I envied her because she had a baby boy and a husband who loved her. I then realized that Royce and I lacked love. I was so shaken that the attraction I had for Royce and he for me was not love at all. On my way home, I stumbled upon Royce and his friends. They were all drunk." Rosalie's voice became dark as her features clouded over.

I feared on what came next, but I silently knew what would happen.

"They raped me and left me there to die! Carlisle changed me, hoping I would be Edward's mate and I felt furious when Edward refused. Two years later though, I found Emmett." She smiled gently as it seemed she was remembering that time with Emmett.

I opened my mouth, wanting to know why she always hated me and how her tragic story was related to me. "I always hated you because Edward became instantly attracted to you when he first laid eyes on you and he didn't do that with me. I was also jealous because you were human. You can have children, something that I always wanted, but I guess I can live with the fact that you are pregnant now and I feel bad that you will not be able to become a parent yourself with your illness." Rose looked relived when she finally finished her story.

I bit my lip. "Rose, may I also tell you something?" She nodded her head at me. "I've also been jealous of you, because you get to spend eternity with the one you love. I can't say the same for myself, since mine would rather see me die instead of be with him. I can't even confidently say he loves me anymore." Traitor tears ran down my cheeks to drop on my clenched hands. A cold, pale hand wrapped itself gently over mine.

"Bella, I can tell my idiot brother hurt you badly, but I can also tell you that he loves you as much as you love him. And, I'm sorry for doubting your love. I think the only two people who understood how much you loved him were you and Jasper." I chuckled at that. I also had a question nagging in the back of my mind.

Well, it never hurts to ask, I thought. "Hey Rose, if Royce had loved you and you loved him, and if he had been kind, would you still want this life with Emmett?" Rose looked surprised at my question. She opened her mouth to reply, but then shut it quickly. I smiled at her, "Just think it over for now. Also, it's not fun just to exist; it's more fun to actually live." I squeezed her hand before making my way downstairs.

My babies were placing orders already.

I smiled hugely when I saw Esme in the kitchen cooking pasta and chicken. My stomach growled in appreciation.

I hopped up on a stool at the island as she turned around to sit on the one across from me. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes dear." I nodded, staring down at the marble top as I traced my fingers around one of the black flecks. "Esme, I saw my hallucination Edward again." I quietly spoke, afraid of what she would say or think of me.

Her finger lifted my chin to look into her sad golden eyes. "Oh Bella, we'll find him for you. Everything will turn out just fine." Tears stung my eyes as my fears started to plague me. "But, what if he doesn't want me anymore, like he said. What if he doesn't want our kids? I won't be around to raise them so he will have to take care of them. How can I protect my kids from a father that might not want them if I'm dead?" I wailed. My breath caught in my throat and I started to violently cough. My lungs burned and I felt something coming up my throat as I coughed into my hands.

I was wheezing when I finally stopped coughing, but I soon became nauseous when I saw blood staining my hands and the white marble top. I looked up at Esme, in fear that her control might snap, but her eyes were still gold and she looked afraid when she saw the blood. "Carlisle!" she yelled out, going to quickly stand behind me and rubbing my back as I tried to grab air into my lungs.

Carlisle instantly showed up in the door way along with the rest of the Cullen siblings, including 'Edward'. "She's having a panic attack and it's causing her to cough. She coughed up blood." Esme was telling him. Carlisle kneeled next to me, rubbing his hand along my back when Esme stepped back. "Bella I want you to think of calming things and breath. Ready. Breathe in. Out. Good."

I was finally calm, but I still felt sick at the sight of blood. Alice walked over to me with a wet wash cloth and started to clean up my hands and mouth then went to the island top. "What caused the attack?" Carlisle questioned me softly, still rubbing my back.

I flinched.

"Edward." I whispered. I saw Carlisle nodded solemnly out of the corner of my eye.

"Don't worry, Bellsy, we'll find him for you and bring him back." Emmett said with a wide smile as Jasper nodded his agreement. I smiled at them. They were my two protective brothers and I loved them.

I saw 'Edward' come to kneel besides me. I looked at him, not caring since everyone knew I would see hallucination Edward. "Love are you alright?" he questioned, deep concern in his almost black eyes.

I wanted to run my thumb under his eye over the deep purple marks and tell him he needs to hunt, but then I realized that he was just a figment of me. I nodded silently, not wanting to seem too crazy. "Would you know where real Edward is?"

Ah, to hell with it. I'm sick and crazy can be a bonus.

He shook his head sadly at me. "I'm afraid I don't know where he is since I'm a part of you. But I would suggest far away somewhere, so he can hide and think. Possibly where there are no people near him. He might pick up his cell though." I thought about that. The last time he left, he said he went to Alaska to think things over for a week before he returned to me. I looked over to Alice, who looked mildly concerned, before I asked her, "Can you try calling Edward or looking into areas that he might be, please?"

Alice nodded and picked up her cell, dialing Edward's number.


	7. Edward

**Chapter 6: Edward**

_January 27, 2011_

_17 weeks_

A month. It took a month till we finally got a hold of Edward.

I was sitting on Edward's bed with both baby books in front of me. One was labeled Baby A and the other was labeled Baby B. Inside the books there were four slots on each page where the six pictures of ultrasounds rested in. The journal I got was starting to fill up with all my writing on what was happening during my pregnancy, my cancer, and the thoughts that I had about my life so far. I would soon need to get a new one. Maybe I could ask someone to publish it into a book once I die. It does sound interesting so far.

Alice busted through the door, scaring me half to death, screaming at the top of her lungs, "I FOUND HIM! I FOUND HIM! BELLA, I FOUND EDWARD!"

I forgive her now.

I beamed at the news, happy that I might get to see him before I died. I couldn't wait till I told him everything and I hoped that he would accept it all and not run away from it. As much as I love my family, Edward was my true pillar of strength.

I rubbed my protruding stomach that was defiantly making its appearance. Carlisle said that the babies will start to move now. Also Carlisle took over being my doctor on everything since he is back to working at the hospital and Alice is back to Forks High. Alice was also bringing me all my school work while I stayed home so I won't over exert myself or cause myself too much stress.

Carlisle told me that it would be bad for my body to go through stress since I wasn't getting any treatment for my cancer and stress is never good for a baby, let alone two babies.

Over this past month, Emmett taught me the mastery of video games. He said it was a good stress reliever to actually kill something on the TV instead of breaking Esme's china.

Yeah, she wasn't too happy with me when I threw her China Vase across the room at Emmett when he mentioned I was fat. I blamed the hormones on that.

Rose and I were becoming closer as she showed me the joys of online shopping when Alice was at school. I have to admit, Edward and I will need a bigger closet soon. All the female Cullens wanted to start buying clothes for the little ones, but I put my foot down. I didn't want to start shopping until I knew what I was having.

Esme and I have started to pain the spare bedroom for a nursery, since we will stay here until I pass on. We decided to go with a starry night theme, with the walls painted a dark blue with little white stars surrounding them. Sticky stars that glow in the dark were placed on the ceiling while a moon hovered on the far right wall. The carpet was a midnight blue, to match the walls, since I didn't want to ruin white carpets when Esme suggested it.

Babies were messy and messy babies did not go well with white carpets. Jasper, Emmett and I would go out to look for old wooden furniture, like a rocking chair or changing table, for the babies' room. We had problems with finding them, but we try once a week in Seattle.

The town of Forks knew that their dead Police Chief's Daughter is pregnant with twins along with having brain and lung cancer. Most of the adults felt neutral about me. They didn't like that I was pregnant and unwed combined with being 18, but they pitied me for having cancer and not going to live in a five year time span. Their dislike and pity balanced each other out, leaving them with a neutral thought and being polite to a point. The kids had ruder comments though. They would call me a slut and say that it was divine punishment to have cancer since I got pregnant.

That angered the Cullens to no end.

Well, anyway, back to finding out about Edward.

"You found him?" I was breathless with happiness and I clasped both hands over my stomach. "Yes! I had a vision that he is in Mexico in some attic, but he'll pick up the phone when I call him in an hour. I don't know if he'll come home or not since the vision ends there." Her face slightly fell at the little information, but I had enough hope that he would come home.

"Alice, just tell him I'm sick and I don't have much time left. If he asks anything about how you found me, just tell him the truth that I found you guys." Alice nodded, her eyes glazing over to see if it would work. A giant smile broke across her face when she was done. "It'll work!" she cheered as she danced around.

"I'm glad you found the real Edward." A deep chuckle came from the bed. I turned around, the smile never leaving my lips as I stared at hallucination Edward.

I didn't care if I looked crazy talking to nothing, I was too damn happy. "We found the real Edward! He's coming home!" I laughed as I threw myself onto the bed next to 'Edward'.

"Congrats Love, I knew you would find him." I smiled up at him as Alice came to grab my hands and haul me to my feet again. "Bella, come one, let's go to the living room where the rest are so we can make that call and get your baby daddy home." I couldn't stop laughing as I went downstairs with her.

Jasper was smiling from our good mood high as he sat playing video games with Emmett. Emmett was simply happy as Rose shook her head with a small smile reading her car magazine.

"Bella, may I tell you something important?" Rose asked as soon as we sat down. I looked over to her, my eyes alight with joy no doubt as I nodded at her.

"I'll change you into one of us, if you truly want to be one of us when it is time for you to die." I gaped at her, along with the rest of the Cullens. I was filled with happiness that she, Rosalie Hale, the person who hated me from the start, was willing to make me a vampire. "Of course, I would be honored to become one of you, but Rose, I thought you were against me becoming a vampire."

She sighed, putting down her magazine to look me straight in the face. "I thought about the question you asked me a month ago and I have to admit, even if Royce and I fell in love and he was kind, I wouldn't change my life now since I met Emmett, my true love, and I also have a great family now. It wouldn't be fair to you to die and leave your family too. I want you to be happy also." She smiled slightly as we all continued to stare at her in surprise.

Alice whistled, "Who knew Rosalie Hale had a heart and compassion for others?" Rose threw a pillow at her before picking up her magazine again.

The hour seemed to drag on while I waited with the others. I wanted to call now and hear his beautiful voice. I wanted him here with me, enjoying our new family that we created together. I was bouncing in my seat when Alice finally picked up the phone to call him

Alice put the phone on speaker so we could all hear the conversation. Jasper came up behind me and rested his hand on my shoulder to calm me down. I smiled up at him in thanks. He nodded. The phone finally picked up and a dead voice answered. "Alice, what do you want?" the voice growled out. My eyes widened and I opened my mouth to question this voice when Jasper's hand closed over my mouth to stop me. I lifted my eyes to him and saw him shake his head in the negative, silently telling me the plan would back fire if I spoke.

Alice's broken voice chimed me back in on the conversation at hand. "Edward, its Bella. She's dying."

Silence.

I waited to hear if he would respond, but nothing came through the phone. "WHAT! Alice I told you not to look into her future! What do you mean she is dying?!" I almost broke down crying at the pain in his voice.

Alice flinched. "Edward, she found Carlisle and told him what was going on with her. We've been trying to find you for a month now since we don't know when Bella will die. We just know that she will. Her last wish is to see you again and I think that's the only thing that's keeping her here." Okay, so she stretched the truth a bit, but if she was following the vision then this is what needs to be done so I could see him again.

"Where are you? I'm going to come home." Everyone silently cheered at this as Alice told him Forks, at their old home. He hung up right after that, telling her to expect him at some time. Jasper removed his hand from my mouth and I looked down at my bump. "Did you hear that little ones? Daddy's coming home."

I felt the tears streaming down my face, warming it up before rapidly cooling till the next batch of tears ran down in the last tears tracks. Everyone gave me a hug, happy that I was going to be getting one of my last wishes. Emmett decided that I had enough excitement for one day and carried me up to Edward's room. I thanked him when I told him to put me down at the door.

I entered the room, throwing on one of Edward's shirts and his sweat pants as I looked out at the dark sky blanketing the trees. I rubbed my bump as I felt cold arms wrap around me. I looked behind me to see 'Edward' smiling at me. He started to hum my lullaby and rested his cheek on top of my head. "Soon, this will be real." I whispered waiting for my real Edward to come home.

I can't remember how I got to bed, but a certain pixie woke me up the next morning by jumping up and down on the bed.

I held back a groan as I felt pain wrack through my body and Alice was defiantly not helping. I had pain in my stomach when I vaguely remember Carlisle telling me that it was going to be normal since I had two growing babies fighting for space, I also had very bad chest pain and a headache that made me want to cry, and my limbs felt like they were being torn off my body. I was in too much pain to speak, let alone pay attention to what Alice was babbling about.

My savior walked through the door in the form of a blonde angel. "Alice, darling, get off the bed and slow your speech down. Bella's in a lot of pain this mornin' and you are only making it worse by jumping on the bed." Alice looked horrified as the new Jasper just gave her and she quickly got off the bed, her mouth moving a mile a minute with apologies.

I took a deep breath and smiled through the pain, making sure Jasper felt my gratefulness at his help. He walked over and sat by my side, grabbing my hand to dull the pain. "You know, you would make a great pain pill if morphine ever runs out." I teased him. Jasper shook his head at me.

"Now, Alice, what were you saying?" Alice cleared her throat and a wide smiled stretched across her tiny face. "Edward will be here in about 30 minutes."

My eyes widened. I needed more time to prepare myself before I saw Edward. I needed a shower. I needed to get dressed. I needed to- "Calm down darlin', Alice will take care of you and you'll be ready by the time Edward gets here." I looked at Jasper's calm face and felt myself calming down too. He helped me up and Alice took over with doing my hair, make-up and clothes after I got out of my quick shower.

Somehow she managed to get me ready without a minute to spare. It must have been one of her quickest make-overs for me yet. I stood up, admiring the light make-up on my face that hid the fatigue and gauntness of my face. I had a little bit of mascara and eyeliner around my eyes to make them pop with life instead of the normal dead look, with a tiny bit of blush that was meant to bring out my natural blush and give life to my face. I had on a dark blue blouse, Edward's favorite color on me, that flowed down to my hips and covered up my bump nicely, but it still showed that I had a bump. Alice somehow managed to get me into black jeans that hugged my new found curves, courtesy of the pregnancy.

I heard Edward's name spill from the lips of Esme, letting me know that Edward was here. I took a deep breath to calm my racing heart and I turned to look at Alice who was standing by the door along with Edward. I smiled, thinking it was the real Edward when he shook his head. "The real Edward is still downstairs love. I just showed up to wish you luck and to tell you that you look beautiful." I still managed to blush at his compliments, even though he was a hallucination.

Alice held onto my hand so she could help keep me upright. My clumsiness is getting worse and worse to the point where the guys want to carry me everywhere.

Overprotective fools.

Once we reached the bottom, I was trying to calm my breathing down since that small walk winded me. I saw all the Cullens around a mess of bronze curls, all chatting about something. They all stopped talking once they saw me join them. I was leaning heavily on Alice now, feeling as if my legs would give out from pain and nerves.

I stared into a face that I thought I would never see again. My eyes roamed over his frame, taking in everything. His eyes were pitch black with heavy dark purple bruises under them. He was paler than normal and his hair was messier than normal too. His cloths were rumbled, probably from being in the same position for a long time, but he still looked like a run-way model. My hallucination didn't do him justice. I stared into his eyes, seeing all the pain, sorrow, and regret in his eyes.

I opened my mouth, willing myself to be strong, as I whispered his name. "Edward, you're back."


	8. The Truth

**Chapter 7: The Truth**

_January 28, 2011_

_17 weeks_

I stared into Edward's stunned black eyes. The Cullens all stood back as Edward made his way to me.

The air scrapped painfully against my lungs as I tried to breathe normally. I have so many words on the tip of my tongue that I wanted to say to him, but my throat closed around my voice box, making speech impossible.

His hand reached out to touch my face, his fingers ghosting over my cheek before pressing a bit more firmly. "Bella," my name was a mere breath on his pale lips. My legs trembled, threatening to collapse if I didn't sit soon. Edward noticed right away and gripped my arm gently to keep my upright.

"Edward, why don't you take her up to your room?" Carlisle question softly. Edward deftly nodded before scooping me up in his arms and quickly making his way up to his room.

Once we reached his room, I gripped his upper arms as I laid my head on his chest, trying to will away the nausea and dizziness. After a few minutes he sat me down on the bed while he stood a few steps away from me. That hurt a bit, but then again he didn't love me and that information hurt a lot more.

We both stayed silent, I think we didn't know what to say to each other, and we also stared at each other before looking somewhere else. I didn't know how to start this conversation. Should I tell him the bad news first? Or the extremely good news? Should I tell him about hallucination Edward or should I keep quiet about him for the time being? Question after question raced through my mind, not deciding which one to ask first.

"You're not really sick, are you?" Edward's soft question brought me out of my scrambled thoughts. I looked up at him, confused on why he would think that.

He must have caught my confusion because he then gestured to my stomach. "I think Alice was exaggerating when she said you were dying. You seem to be perfectly fine, besides being pregnant. I don't see why I was brought here though since it seems like you moved on with someone else." He then looked away from me towards the window wall.

I sucked in a harsh breath through my teeth, trying to contain my rising temper. How dare he accuse me of moving on and not get the whole explanation! I was now royally pissed off at him.

"Edward, I didn't move on. Both babies are yours. We are going to be parents." Well let's get the first issue out of the way, so that way the bad news can be lessened somewhat, I hope.

Edward's eyes widened I believed at hearing the word babies, but I couldn't be sure since the news of becoming a father was also something he didn't expect either. I waited to see what his reaction would be, but I didn't think it would be so soon.

The corner of his lips started to twitch upwards into a smile before the smile became chuckling then the chuckling morphed into full blown out laughter. The laughter frightened me a bit because it sounded almost hysterical, but my hopes were being raised at thinking he was taking the news well.

Oh how wrong I was.

Once his laughter calmed down, he looked at me with a bit of a mocking smile and somewhat cold eyes.

My hope was dropping now.

"Bella, vampires can't have children. It's impossible. I don't know who you moved on with, but only someone human or alive can give you children." I saw a slight wince he covered up at the mention of human.

My anger returned as I stared incredulous at him. I was at a loss for words. I truly didn't know what to do in this situation. I was prepared for him not believing the child was his, but I had a plan on explaining everything. Even though I was prepared, I didn't know how to recover from the blow that he dealt to my emotions.

I could feel the pain well up inside me. My face flushed as my chest heaved, trying to control my anger and to stop the tears before they had a chance to flow. My lungs worked double time and felt abused from the pain it was producing to breathe. My body was slowly numbing itself from the hurt until it was completely numb except for my head. My head felt cold and hot at the same time as I opened my mouth to reply to him.

"How dare you accuse me of cheating on you? I love only you! I couldn't stand to be in another man's arms let alone have sex with him! I've only made love to you, though I can clearly see that it meant nothing to you! I am pregnant with your children whether you like it or not and I thought you would want to know about them! Clearly I should have kept you away from them! I don't want you near-" My screaming was cut off as my body convulsed with a cough.

The cough was rough as it wracked my frame. It was horrible as it felt like acid was being poured down my throat. I coughed and coughed, the only slightly soothing thing about my coughing was the liquid I could feel coming up my throat. The liquid slightly cooled my throat before it started burning a second later.

I was getting light headed from all this coughing and I could see out of the corner of my eye, Edward's horrified look as his lips moved in a shout. Sounds didn't penetrate my ears as they were filled with the sounds of my coughing.

Once the need for coughing died down, my body was once again heaving for air as I sucked air in greedily through my mouth. I moved the hand that I was using to cover my mouth away from my mouth, only to see it was covered in blood. I stared wide-eyed as the blood streaked down my arm and dripped onto the gold comforter. My head swam as I took in the smell and it repulsed me to know that I was attracted just as much as it made me sick to my stomach.

I didn't know what impulse was stronger because I passed out the next second as I saw Carlisle rush into the room.

I groaned as my body pulsed with pain. It was sad that I was starting to get used to this pain, but I was feeling it so much now that I just didn't care anymore. I glanced around the dark room, not seeing anyone. My heart broke more than I thought it could as the knowledge that Edward doesn't love me or our kids. I threw my arm over my eyes as I started to cry silently.

I felt a gentle hand petting the top of my head. I glanced out from under my arm to see Edward sitting there. I froze, hoping he wasn't going to start another fight or accuse me of something again.

"Relax Bella; I'm not the real Edward." I instantly relaxed at that knowledge. As much as I love Edward, I didn't want to see him so soon after our fight. "How long was I out?" I winced as my voice came back so hoarse, but then again I had a really bad coughing fit.

'Edward' also wince slightly too. "About 5 hours." He didn't fully look at me as he said this. I sighed as I sank even more into the bed. The hallucination didn't stop petting my head as we sat in the quiet in the room. I felt too sad to do anything anymore. I knew I was going to be doing this parenting thing alone, but I just wished the real Edward took the information better.

"I'm sorry, love." I glanced over at 'Edward' to see him looking down at me with so much remorse and sadness. I was confused on why he was apologizing to me.

"What for?" I question softly. I couldn't speak loudly since it hurt too much.

"The real me was out of line with what he said. You are a beautiful woman and I'm proud to have children with you. I think that he just couldn't get over the fact that vampires can't have children, that he has no soul, and that he believes that he is not good enough for you." I looked at him incredulously. How could someone so perfect think like that? It should be against the law for him to think like that.

_But then again, I also think about the same things towards myself_, my mind whispered to me. I realized that that was true. I didn't believe I was good enough to hold him too me and in a way he proved that by leaving. I knew I wasn't pretty, I was really plain, I was average on smarts, and the only thing really going for me at the moment to keep him was our twins. I had no clue what else that he would find interesting on me.

I chuckled darkly as I stared back up into his sad black pools. "I guess someone as perfect as him can still see flaws on himself, but then again, I'm far from perfect myself. I'm just a stupid human, plain even to human standards, so what should I know about my own body and whose child I'm having." I said mockingly as I turned my head up to the dark ceiling. I felt the bed shift as his body moved to straddle on top of me, making sure he kept his weight off my body. "Isabella, I am appalled to hear those words come from your mouth. You need to stop thinking like that." He stared down at me with his sad black eyes.

I burst into tears again. God I hated being hormonal. "Well what am I supposed to think? My Edward doesn't love me. He can't even stand the thought of having children with me, let alone the actual fact that I am pregnant with HIS child! I'm dying from cancer and I'm living with the fact that I won't be able to see my children at all. I might die at child birth for god's sake! I'm absolutely scared out of my wits because I don't know what will happen with my children and Edward. I want him to love our children and teach them the ropes of how to be a vampire, the good and the bad. I want Carlisle and Esme to be the grandparents and so they can babysit the twins for when Edward needs to hunt and the kids can't go. I want Rose and Alice to spoil the girls if I have girls and Emmett and Jasper to teach the boys how to play sports and stuff if I have boys. I want Edward to love his own children even though he doesn't love me. I know Edward will be a great father." My voice got weaker to the end of my ranting as I sobbed into my hands.

I didn't know what to do anymore. I explained to Edward that the children are his and he didn't listen till I fully explained. The only reassurance I have at this point is Carlisle's promise to take the twins and Rose's offer to change me if I wanted to after I have the twins.

The repressed pain that my body was in flooded my system, making me want to scream out in pain. Instead I bit my lip in a muted scream of sadness and pain. I felt 'Edward' wrap his arms around my body and just hold me. I let everything go as I was cradled in his chest.

I don't know how long I was lying there, held against a hallucination's chest, but a light knock on the door broke me from my wallowing.

"Bella, I brought some food up here for you to eat dear." Esme's kind voice passed through the door to my stomach. My stomach growled in acknowledgement on the need for food. I didn't feel like getting up at the moment, so I opened my mouth to tell her I wasn't hungry, when I changed my mind.

"Esme, can you leave it at the door? I'll get it later." My voice sounded awful to my ears. It was hoarse from crying, screaming, and coughing and it was also dying, barely a whisper anymore. I didn't hear if she put the food down or not, but she knocked once on the door. I'm guessing that she was telling me she left it there.

I closed my eyes, feeling exhaustion take hold of me as I curled into the warm body of 'Edward'.

"Love, you need to eat, to keep our babies healthy." It took a lot of effort to crack an eye open at him. I mumbled my reply of tomorrow and I instantly fell asleep.

For three days, that was how my routine was. I would sleep till late, shower in the adjoined bathroom, tell whoever brought my food up to leave it at the door and I'll get it later, and cried myself to sleep with hallucination Edward holding me to at least give me some comfort.

On the fourth day, I just didn't feel like moving at all as I laid in bed on my side, my right arm drawn up close to my mouth and my left arm draped over my bump. I stared blankly out the window, watching as the mist blanketed the tree tops. Thick, heavy light grey clouds hung in the air, promising that there was going to be snow sometime today. I ached really badly, the pain being felt from the tips of my toes all the way to the roots in my hair.

"Bella, you need to snap out of this, this…funk that you are in." 'Edward' demanded as he stood alongside the bed in front of me. His arms were crossed over his grey shirt clad chest, his eyebrows were drawn together as his lips were tilted down ward in a disappointed frown. I turned my eyes down from his face, not wanting to see the disappointment he held for me. My eyes caught sight of his light blue jeans and bare feet before I moved my eyes to look back out the window.

"Bella, you need to eat something. You are going to kill yourself if you don't!" he was getting more upset, by the tone of his voice. I just rolled my eyes and snorted. "I'm already dying, not eating is just speeding up the process." I couldn't look at him anymore. It hurt too much. I tried to will him away by using my mind, but he wasn't budging.

I heard him suck in a sharp breath, no doubt shocked by my words.

"Bella, don't you have any goals to complete in life! And what about the twins, they need you to be as healthy as they can so they can survive. They are depending on you Bella." It seems he was persistent on making me move and eat now. My eyebrow twitched, annoyed that he was bringing up some points that I knew I was in the wrong about. Especially our children. Then I grew slightly angry at this hallucination for calling them 'the twins' instead of our twins like he has been doing.

"I did have a goal to see Edward one last time and tell him I love him, but he clearly doesn't want to hear what I have to say anymore. And it's not 'the twins' it's OUR twins, Edward. It takes two people to make babies, so just stop playing dumb and actually fess up because you helped in making our miracles!" I raised myself up slightly on my elbow to glare at him in his golden eyes. My voice was getting better, but it was still hoarse from non-use.

I watched as he winced a bit at my statement and lowered his arms from his chest as his golden eyes darkened from regret and sadness. He walked over to the bed, placing one knee on it as he reached his hand out to rest on my bump where the twins rested. He rubbed it slightly, a happy, calm look taking over his face.

"So, they really are mine then?" he questioned as he looked back up at me, hope and happiness lightening his eyes up again.

I was confused. He should know it was his already since he was a hallucination and he was a part of me.

"Edward, you are my hallucination, remember? You already know everything about what is going on with my cancer and how much pain I've been in. You already know I'm pregnant with your twins, so why do you need reassurance that the twins are yours?" I really had no clue as to why he wanted reassurance on this subject. The hallucination has always been so happy about our twins that he would make silly statements on how they looked like one of us or try to create a song for each of the babies.

'Edward' winced a bit as he stared sadly at me, showing how much grief and pain he has been in. He looked so depressed at my statement that I thought he would start crying.

"Love, I'm not a hallucination. I'm the real Edward." My eyes widened at his confession. I couldn't believe I've been talking to the real Edward. How long has he been here and when did he get in? I didn't even hear the door opening, but then again I was pretty out of it so I barely noticed when there was a knock on the door or if someone held me.

I blushed slightly in shame since now I couldn't tell the real Edward from the hallucination Edward. I buried my head in the pillow, not wanting him to see my shame. "How long have you been in the room with me?" I groaned into the pillow, thinking he would say from the beginning, but he surprised me.

"I came in last night, though I've been listening to you from the beginning. It hurt so much that I put you in so much pain and sadness and I couldn't do anything. Alice told me that she saw that I would do nothing, but harm you farther if I went in. I couldn't take it anymore and I came in last night, only to find you crying in your sleep. I held you till you were starting to wake up and stood back to see if you would notice me. I just grew frustrated that you were doing this to yourself that I just slipped up and talked." I felt his other hand that was not on my bump start to pet my hair in a soothing manner.

"I snapped out of my stupidity and realize that you are not the kind to cheat on me and I know that you would never purposely get pregnant either. I just never imagined that a vampire could get someone pregnant." I heard awe leak into his voice when he talked about the pregnancy. I peeked out from the corner of my eye to see him smiling down at my bump where our twins lay nestled in my womb. His eyes were alight with awe, adoration, and love that it made me want to break out crying again.

"Love, you can't imagine how happy it makes me to know that we are having kids." His soft admission made me turn on my back to stare at him. I watched as he leaned down towards my bump and gently kissed the places where Baby A and Baby B were. Tears started to leak from my eyes again at the touching scene.

"I do know, Edward. When I found out that I was pregnant with our twins, it was the only thing that kept me living through the devastating realization that I have terminal cancer. They are our miracles that I am proud to call mine." He looked back up at me at my admission, the smile never leaving his face. He leaned up towards my face and placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

"I love you Isabella Marie Swan," Edward whispered against my forehead, his cool breathe caressing the skin there. I sucked in a shuddering breathe as happiness flooded my system. It was a happiness I never thought I would have again. "I love you Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

Edward's face broke out into a wondrous smile as he leaned his forehead on mine. His eyes glanced down at my lips, hesitancy settling over his features. I smiled again as I leaned up to claim his lips.

The kiss was slow and gentle, convey everything that we wanted to say and healing the wounds and scars in our hearts.

I finally found my salvation in this dark cold world and I would gladly walk by his side till my last breathe.

**This chapter is finally done! Please review with all your thoughts, ideas and whatnot XD. Thank You!**


	9. My Love

**Chapter 8: My Love**

**Hey guys, this chapter is just an EPOV(Edward's) about a few things, but it is mainly about chapter 7. You can read it to see his side of what happened in chapter 7 or you can completely ignore it. This chapter was inspired by Christina Perri's A Thousand Years song. Good song if you have never heard it before.**

I stared blankly ahead of me as I sat, curled up in a ball with my arms around my knees. I was in some bar in Rio, staying in the abandoned attic that no one ever came up to anymore. I didn't know how long I stayed up here, but I knew it was a long time since the burn of not hunting in a long time started to increase day by day. I just pushed that urge to the back of my mind.

I wallowed in my self-loathing and pity as I replayed what I did to my precious Bella.

I am a monster for putting my angel through everything that associated with my world. A beautiful angel should have never met or fell in love with a monster. It was wrong, yet it was so perfect too. The selfish part of me wanted to run back to her and take back everything that I said that day in the woods. I wanted her to be a part of my world, to become a vampire like me and live for eternity by my side.

The reasonable part of me said that she could never fully love a monster like me and that I had to protect her at all costs from the dangers my world brought, including me. From day one, I gave her nothing but problems. First with me trying to kill her in Biology, then the car crash, next was James, and finally my own brother, Jasper, tried to kill her at her birthday party.

She probably hates me now.

I wouldn't blame her, I would hate me too if I gave her that much danger in her life.

I also remember the good times we had, laughing and playing with my family. The most wonderful memory I had of us was when we shared that night together a week before her birthday. She finally broke down my boundaries and we made love while the rest went out hunting. It felt extraordinary to be joined like that with her.

I huddled more into the ball that I was in. Remembering that night was bad, since it increased my need to be with her again.

My cell phone brought me out of my musing. I looked down to see that Alice was calling. I missed my favorite sister dearly. I can't remember the last time we talked. Was it minutes, days, weeks, months, years? How long had I been gone? How much had I hurt my family in my own selfishness from running away? I would try to fix my family as much as I could in my dead state.

I picked up the phone. "Alice, what do you want?" I growled out, wincing at how dead my voice sounded and how annoyed I sounded too. I didn't want to be mean, but I guess it was an automatic response from hurting myself.

"Edward, its Bella. She's dying." Alice stated, giving no mind to my rudeness.

I froze. My Bella was dying. My beautiful, wonderful Bella was not going to be on this dreadful planet anymore. I was panicking. How could she be dying? Why was she dying? Did something really bad happen to her?

Oh god, I left her all alone and now she was dying. Was this some kind of divine punishment for leaving an angel?

Then I remembered that Alice saw Bella dying and I told her not to look into Bella's future. That angered me. "WHAT! Alice I told you not to look into her future! What do you mean she is dying?!" I was filled with so much pain at the thought of sweet innocent Bella dying, leaving me all alone in the world. I wanted to crumple into a ball and cry my eyes out at the thought of Bella not being in this world anymore.

"Edward, she found Carlisle and told him what was going on with her. We've been trying to find you for a month now since we don't know when Bella will die. We just know that she will. Her last wish is to see you again and I think that's the only thing that is keeping her here." I stopped breathing at that.

A month. They have been trying to find me for a month now with the knowledge of Bella dying at any time. I was sitting here in this dusty attic while Bella was probably terrified that she could die at any moment and I wasn't there with her.

I needed to be with her.

"Where are you? I'm going to come home." I resolved that I would fix everything when I got there. I would tell her I love her and kiss her till she ran out of air. I would hold her every day and make her realize the lie I told her that day in the woods. I don't care if she hated me now, I would make her love me again. I would fulfill her last wish of being with her till her dying breath. The selfish part of me wanted to change her so she wouldn't leave my side again. I would offer it to her if she still wanted to be changed. I would make everything right again.

"We are at the old house in Forks." I nodded my head I as got up off the floor. "I'll be there soon, I don't know when, but expect me at some time in the next week or so." I hung up and dusted my clothes off.

I know my family wouldn't care how I looked when I came back, so I didn't try to find new clothes. I climbed out of the window once night reached and I ran at vampire speed, wanting to get there as quick as I could. I didn't bother with hunting either because I don't think Bella would be at the house since she was dying she should be at the hospital. It took me all night, avoiding the places where humans would see and taking to the woods for cover.

I finally got to Forks just as the sun was rising. Thankfully the clouds were clotting the sky in a thick grey so I didn't sparkle in the light. I made my way straight to the house, knowing I would be there in 30 minutes.

I was preparing myself to see the family again. I was excited a bit to see Esme and Alice and also a bit terrified to find out how much I hurt them by leaving like I did. Carlisle would be glad that I was back and he would accept me like he did when I went on my rebellious streak in the '30s. I didn't know if Rosalie and Emmett would be there. I knew Rose didn't like Bella all that much and I was sure that she wouldn't care if my precious Bella died. Emmett would follow Rose, even though I know that he loves Bella like a sister.

Jasper was always with Alice so I knew he was going to be there, though that thought unsettled me. I didn't want him close to my Bella since the accident at her birthday was caused by him. But I also envied him because he gets to spend eternity with Alice while I only had a short time left with my Bella. God, I didn't even know how long I had left to be with her.

Would she die instantly as soon as she lays eyes on me and I wouldn't be able to offer to change her?

Would she hold on for a bit longer so I could offer to change her?

Would she die just from the knowledge that I was coming back and I wouldn't be able to see her alive for the last moments?

These questions swirled around in my mind, making fear grip my dead heart. I didn't want to lose her at all.

I finally saw the house and I busted through the door, not even bothering to knock since they knew I was coming.

I was surprised to see my whole family swarm me as soon as I stepped foot in the house. The only ones that weren't there was Alice and Bella, though I wasn't really expecting Bella to be here. Esme was the first one to hug me, squeezing me to her body as if I was gone for a really long time. I might have been, since I don't remember how long I have been gone.

Their thoughts all bounce around, jumbling together so I couldn't distinguish whose was whose and their train of thought. I blocked their voices out as I stood there patiently waiting till they calmed down so I could think and talk. They suddenly stopped talking and I looked to the stairs where I heard a familiar heartbeat.

There stood Bella, being supported by Alice. I sucked in a sharp breath, taking in her floral scent that was surprisingly not appetizing to me in the least. She smelled more like a candle or one of us instead of something our prey would smell like. I would have to ask her about that later. I looked her body up and down, expecting to see her deathly thin and pale. Instead she was pale, but not in a sickly way. It was her normal pale. Her warm brown eyes had life in them still and her face was flushed beautifully. Her legs and arms were thin, but not twig like, like I was expecting. What surprised me the most was the bump under her blue shirt that clearly screamed baby at me. She looked more pregnant than as if she were about to die any moment.

I felt regret, sorrow, and pain at the thought of her moving on to another guy, much sooner than I expected judging by the bump. She had listened to me for once and moved on, but then I didn't know why I was called here since it seemed like she was only pregnant, not deathly sick. I felt so confused and hurt by all this. Did she want to prove to me that she moved on like I asked then?

I walked towards her, hearing her breathing deeply and a brief concern took over me, wondering if she was hyperventilating. Did she not know I was coming over or was she afraid of me?

I reached my hand out to touch her face, the need to touch her soft skin overwhelming me. I gently brushed my fingers over her cheek, pressing a bit firmer when I realize that this was actually happening and I was seeing my beautiful Bella again. "Bella," I breathed, happiness welled inside me, but I kept it back, not wanting to scare her any more than what I was.

I noticed that her legs were trembling and I was afraid she was going to collapse right there so I grabbed her arm, remembering that she was a frail human so I only applied a little pressure, enough to keep her up right.

"Edward, why don't you take her up to your room?" I heard Carlisle question softly behind me. _Son she can't stand for long periods of times in her state_, his thoughts spoke to me. I wondered if he meant since her being pregnant was why she couldn't stand for a long time or was it something else. I deftly nodded before scooping Bella up in my arms, sending a slight shiver down my body as her warm body was pressed into mine again. I had to remind myself that she wasn't mine anymore. I quickly made my way up to my room. I heard the rest of the family stay down stairs or hunt close to the house, giving us some privacy.

I noticed that she gripped my arms and looked like she was about to be sick as she rested her head on my chest. I held still waiting for her to calm down. Once she looked a bit better I sat her down on my bed before I backed away to stand a few feet away from her.

I didn't know what to say as I looked away from her. Should I ask how she was doing? Who she was with now? I wondered if she was happy with the new guy. Was she really sick or was she just pregnant. She didn't seem to be making a move to talk.

"You're not really sick, are you?" I questioned softly, wondering when my mouth opened without thinking. I felt like an idiot for jumping to conclusion, but she really didn't look sick. She looked up at me, confusion painted across her beautiful face. She seemed to not understand why I was asking this or she was confused on why I thought she was sick. Did Alice not tell her the reason I was here or how she got me here?

I indicated towards her stomach where her baby bump was. "I think Alice was exaggerating when she said you were dying. You seem to be perfectly fine, besides being pregnant. I don't see why I was brought here though since it seems like you moved on with someone else." I honestly didn't know why I was here if she was just pregnant. It's not like I could do anything about it. I looked out towards the window, admiring the forest stretched before my window in a sea of green.

My ears picked up a harsh breath and I froze slightly, wondering if I made her angry or I caught her on something she didn't want me to know.

"Edward, I didn't move on. Both babies are yours. We are going to be parents." Her voice held suppressed anger as she spoke to me. I turned back towards her, my eyes widening from a lot of different reason. One, she said that she hadn't moved on. If that was true, then how was she pregnant? A thought struck me that filled me with horror and dread. Was she raped? I didn't dwell on that thought long, not wanting to think that my innocent Bella was violated in such a way. Second, she said babies. I was shocked to know she was having more than one. I focused my hearing on her more, picking out two fast heartbeats that mingled with her slower heartbeat. I was a bit surprised that I didn't pick it out at the very beginning. Third, she said we, as in both of us, are going to become parents. She was suggesting that I was a father. I know that we made love four months ago and she appeared to be four months pregnant, but that doesn't automatically make me the father. Plus there is the fact that vampires couldn't have children.

I glanced down at her stomach again. Maybe Bella did the impossible and made it so we could have children.

No, I don't believe that I could have children. A monster like me didn't deserve to have children and if they were half-vampire, what would that do to Bella. If they were half-vampire is that the reason then on why Alice said Bella was dying. Bella surely didn't look like she was dying though.

My lips twitched at the ludicrous idea of having children and before I knew it a smile broke out across my face. I started to chuckle as the idea became more and more insane to me. I started to laugh at the very idea of vampires have children and I was boarder line hysterical at the notion that _I_ was fathering two children. I couldn't believe that, vampires were never supposed to have children in the first place, and all our organs and productive systems were dead as far as I know.

I started to calm down and I smile a bit, thinking that Bella was absolutely silly of thinking that she was pregnant with my children and I wasn't happy at her for prying on my dreams like that. I wasn't happy at all because that was a secret wish I held in my heart of having a family of some kind with her. And now she just had to poke fun at that wish with telling me she was pregnant with _my_ children when she was actually pregnant with someone else's. I saw her face pale and drop.

"Bella, vampires can't have children. It's impossible. I don't know who you moved on with, but only someone human or alive can give you children." I winced at the idea of another human touching her, or worse, one of those dogs in La Push. I wanted to be human for her though. I wanted to give her the world, but I couldn't since I was dead, a non-living creature that was cursed to roam the earth for eternity.

I watched as she stared at me open mouth in anger. She opened her mouth and closed it a few times, seeming to be at a loss for words. I waited to see if she would tell me I was wrong or to see if I called her out on what she did. I knew I was being slightly mean to her, but I didn't like being made fun of by saying I was going to be a father. It was cruel of her to suggest that.

Her eyes clouded over in pain and anger as her face flushed a dark red. I could smell salt water and realized that she was about to cry. Her chest started to heave and I could hear a slight wheeze in her lungs as she drew air in. Bella finally opened her mouth to me to talk.

"How dare you accuse me of cheating on you? I love only you! I couldn't stand to be in another man's arms let alone have sex with him! I've only made love to you, though I can clearly see that it meant nothing to you! I am pregnant with your children whether you like it or not and I thought you would want to know about them! Clearly I should have kept you away from them! I don't want you near-" I watched in horror as her tirade was cut off by her coughing.

Her shoulders shook with every cough that emitted from her and I froze as the smell of her blood hit my nose. Blood streamed from her mouth and onto her hand. It kept flowing from her mouth and it streaked down her arms in a race to hit the golden comforter. "Carlisle, help!" I shouted, hoping he would come right away. I didn't want to get near her, afraid I might lose control with her blood outside of her body. I held my breath, waiting for Carlisle to come up.

I could hear Carlisle racing through the forest back towards the house as Bella's coughing died down. Her lips were stained red along with the corners of her mouth and chin. The blood was starting to slow down on her arm, only a streak or so racing quickly down before it stops midway or drips down. I watched in concern as she just stared at her blood covered hand, wondering if she was feeling alright with looking at the blood. I know she doesn't like the smell of blood.

She fell sideways onto the bed just as Carlisle got here. He ran straight to her side, looking her over to see what the damage is. He noticed the blood from her mouth and on her arm.

_Edward, what happened here?_ His thoughts echoed to me as he checked everything on her. Once he made sure everything was okay he went to get a warm wet cloth to wipe the blood from her person.

"I don't fully know. I just told her what I thought and she got angry at me and started to yell then she just broke down into a coughing fit and blood was coming out of her mouth." I shivered in fear as the last few minutes played through my head. Did I cause her to cough up blood?

I feared for that answer. My innocent Bella obviously had something wrong with her other than being pregnant. I felt like an idiot for not asking what was fully wrong with her instead of jumping to conclusions and accusing her of things that she told me was not true.

_Edward, why don't you head to my office and then you can explain everything to me. I'll be there in a_ _few minutes. I need to clean Bella up first._ Carlisle thought as he came back into the room, holding the warm wet cloth. I nodded to him before making my way to his office on the second floor.

I paced back and forth till he got here, worries plaguing my mind on what was wrong with Bella.

He came in a few minutes later, looking concerned at my pacing. _Alright Edward, tell me everything that happened_, Carlisle sat in his office chair and looked expectantly to me. I told him everything from our talk. I was completely truthful with him since he is my father and I didn't like to keep secrets from him. I trusted Carlisle.

He looked disappointed in me and gave me a disapproving look when I finished the story. I hung my head as his thoughts reached me. _I hope you plan to apologize to Bella because whether you like it or not, those children are yours. I've done some experiments on her without her knowing because some days it's hard for her to while others is easier. I added some animal blood to her smoothies to see how she would react to it and also to see if the twins inside her are really half-vampire. She actually seemed healthier after the first blood fruit smoothie, so now I put blood in all her smoothies,_ Carlisle thought back to me as he relaxed back in his chair. My eyes widened at his thoughts, shocked that he would give Bella blood without her knowledge, but secretly happy that she seemed healthier after wards.

I was then ashamed at myself for not believing and trusting my-no, not mine anymore- Bella's words. She was a horrible liar since day one and why I expected that to change, I have no clue. I would make it up to her though. I would do anything she asks of me and become the best father a child could ask for. I wanted to marry her too, not because of duty or honor, but because I love her.

I would ask her when we get on better ground than we are right now. She probably hates me for accusing her like I did and I would understand if she never forgave me, but I would at least try at every opportunity that I had.

"Carlisle, what is wrong with her? What caused her to cough up that much blood?" I questioned softly as worry and fear rose within me. Carlisle sighed and slumped back in his chair. This was obviously an unpleasant conversation for him and it was one that he would rather not think about either, but he knew he had to tell me since I had a right to know what was wrong with the mother of my children.

"Bella has terminal brain and lung cancer along with being pregnant with twins. She has a very rare case since most cancer patients don't get pregnant, much less with twins. She is getting weaker by day and I fear that she might not make it through the pregnancy. She can't be stressed or angered since it will aggravate her cancer and cause her to go in a coughing fit like she did today. She will most likely have a C-section and I'm estimating between 7-9 months till she goes into labor, though I'm leaning towards 7-8 months since most multiples are premature. If she lives through the birth, she will only have a year at most and a month at the least to live. Everyone here is offering to change her into one of us though, if she wants too." I shook with horror at the knowledge that Bella has cancer. I honestly don't know what to say to that. I didn't expect it to be that bad. My Bella, who was supposed to have 80 plus years left in her, is now down to a year at best.

I wanted to cry at this knowledge. It hurt to know that I was losing my Bella by a terminal disease instead of natural causes.

Just then I remember that Carlisle said that everyone was offering to change Bella if she wanted to be changed and I started to growl at that. I didn't want Bella to turn into a soulless creature like me. I wanted her to have a life. _She is not going to have a life at all, she is just going to die_, my mind whispered to me, _Besides didn't you just promise yourself that you would do anything for her to make it up to her. _

Shame and guilt flooded me as I realized I was about to go back on my word. I hung my head and clenched my fist as I realized that I couldn't even keep my word for 5 minutes. I really needed to work on compromise if I wanted a relationship with Bella again.

"Edward, why don't you go hunting for a bit? We'll call you when Bella starts to wake up." I nodded my head silently as I raced outside. I cleared my mind and focused on the smells of the forest. I picked off four deer and a mountain lion before I returned back to the house. It was dark by the time I got back and everyone was home too. I could tell by their thoughts that they were disappointed in me for what I said to Bella, but they sorta understood if they were in my position.

After so many years of knowing vampires can't create life unless it's a un-life, it was shocking to find out a male vampire could make a female human pregnant. I admit my reaction was very bad, but I was very shocked at knowing that I got Bella pregnant.

I heard a painful groan from upstairs and I was going to take off upstairs to apologize to Bella, but Alice grabbed my arm before I had the chance.

I growled at her for stopping me and Jasper inched closer to us, on guard in case I hurt Alice.

"Edward, you can't go up there yet. You will just make things worse if you try to apologize. Wait till she comes to you." Alice reasoned. I sighed, letting Alice win without a fight. I didn't want to make things worse for Bella. I ran upstairs though, intent on sitting outside her door. If I couldn't be by her side at the moment, then I could at least be near her. I heard Esme moving around the kitchen, making Bella something to eat as her thoughts drifted to how hungry she must be.

I listened closely to what Bella was doing in the room. I just heard the sheets rustling around and she sniffed a bit, but otherwise it was quiet for a few minutes.

"How long was I out?" her voice was hoarse as it drifted to my ears. I was confused. Was she questioning herself like some humans did when they've been out for a long time? But then again, her question sounded like it was directed to someone. I focused more, trying to hear if someone was in there with her. I heard her sigh with no particular emotion behind it as the sheets rustle more. She was quiet for a bit before I heard her soft voice, "What for?"

My eyebrows drew together, wondering what was going on as she continued to question herself. Was there someone in there or was she just talking to herself?

_Edward, Bella has hallucinations caused by the cancer. She mainly hallucinates you_, Alice thought as she stayed downstairs with Jasper and Emmett who were both playing video games.

I stared in horror as the realization struck me. My Bella hallucinates about me. She must have missed me so much that her thoughts took form of a hallucination me. _Or maybe she was so upset and hated you that you just suddenly formed from her mind_, a dark part of me whispered in my mind. I was depressed at that possibility as I focused back into her conversation.

I heard a dark chuckle emanate from the room as her voice flowed next, "I guess someone as perfect as him can still see flaws on himself, but then again, I'm far from perfect myself. I'm just a stupid human, plain even to human standards, so what should I know about my own body and whose child I'm having." Her voice had a mocking tone to it as the sheets rustled again. I was shocked from what she just said about herself.

I wanted to barge in and make her see that she was none of that. She was a beautiful, smart, caring woman that any man would be lucky to have. Then I felt bad when I doubted her on what was happening to her. I stayed where I was, willing myself not to go in there, especially when I heard her start to cry.

"Well what am I supposed to think? My Edward doesn't love me. He can't even stand the thought of having children with me, let alone the actual fact that I am pregnant with HIS child! I'm dying from cancer and I'm living with the fact that I won't be able to see my children at all. I might die at child birth for god's sake! I'm absolutely scared out of my wits because I don't know what will happen with my children and Edward. I want him to love our children and teach them the ropes of how to be a vampire, the good and the bad. I want Carlisle and Esme to be the grandparents and they can babysit the twins for when Edward needs to hunt and the kids can't go. I want Rose and Alice to spoil the girls if I have girls and Emmett and Jasper to teach the boys how to play sports and stuff if I have boys. I want Edward to love his own children even though he doesn't love me. I know Edward will be a great father." I balled my hands into fists to restrain myself from going in there to comfort her. I already loved our children from the moment the possibility that those tiny babies in her stomach were mine. I would do anything for our children and my family and I will teach the twins the ropes once they are born. I wanted to take away her fear of everything for her.

I wasn't going to let her die from cancer or child birth and I would change her, even if she didn't want it.

I wasn't going to lose the only thing that was good for me. Once I can apologize, I'll explain everything that I am going to do, so she can have some knowledge beforehand and she can say good bye to her parents and friends. I know my family would do anything for the twins, once they are born. Bella didn't need to worry about that, but then again I realized that my Bella never saw anything clearly, mostly about herself. I felt hurt when she mentioned that I didn't love her. I love her with all my being. I would have to show her how much I love her as soon as I get the chance.

I closed my eyes as I heard a muted scream from inside and I heard Jasper leaving the house to get far away from Bella because of intense pain she was feeling. I guess she is finally letting everything go as I heard her crying and muted screams. I opened my eyes when Esme's thoughts got closer and I saw her making her way up the steps with a tray in her hand. She walked straight up to the door and knocked lightly.

"Bella, I brought some food up here for you to eat dear," Esme's kind voice said as I sat and watched to see if Bella would get the food. We both heard her stomach growl, but I didn't hear the sheets shift indicating that she was getting up.

"Esme, can you leave it at the door? I'll get it later." Her voice sounded hoarse from crying layered with sleep and pain. It was also barely there. I watched as concern clouded my mother's face as she put the food down at the door. She knocked once, hoping Bella would get the meaning that she left the food there.

_Edward, can you make sure she eats, I'm worried about her and I know all this stress and pain that she is in is not good for the babies, even if they are half-vampire_, Esme thought as she leaned down to kiss my forehead in a motherly way as she left to go be with her mate.

I heard her exhausted voice saying something about eating tomorrow and then her breathing evened out as her heart slowed indicating that she was asleep. I was grateful that she could still sleep peacefully. She could escape the pain for a little while. I took the untouched food back down, waiting till she came down to talk to me.

For three days I waited for her to come down, but she seemed to stay up in my room, taking showers, picking at the food Esme gave her, and having conversations with the hallucination me. I was a little jealous of the hallucination because it got to talk to her while I had to wait to apologize to her.

On the fourth day, I had enough. I was worrying like crazy and I didn't want her to starve. She was a strong woman and I knew she could bounce back from something like this. I headed to her room since Alice wasn't here to stop me. Jasper and her went out hunting for a while, to get away from the depressing atmosphere that seemed to take residence in our house.

I opened the door without her hearing it and watched as morning finally came and she started to wake up. I made sure I stood out of her view range, taking in her body and see that her face was becoming gaunt from sickness and her eyes held immense pain that I desperately wanted to take away. She didn't notice me as she stared out the window at the scenery.

I finally snapped. "Bella, you need to snap out of this, this…funk that you are in," I demanded as I crossed my arms over my chest. My eyebrows drew together in concern as my mouth tilted downwards in worry. I watched as she glanced at me then turned her head away to the window again.

I would do anything to know what she was thinking at that moment.

"Bella, you need to eat something. You are going to kill yourself if you don't!" I was getting upset that she was refusing to eat to keep herself healthy for the twins. She just rolled her eyes at me and snorted as she replied, "I'm already dying, and not eating is just speeding up the process."

I stared at her in horror as the words hung in the air. She still refused to look at me, and I didn't know if it was because she was upset at me or because she didn't want to believe her own words.

I took a deep breath, a bit frustrated at her own stubbornness. "Bella, don't you have any goals to complete in life! And what about the twins, they need you to be as healthy as they can so they can survive. They are depending on you Bella." Her eyebrow twitched at my words and she seemed annoyed at me.

Well good, maybe she would relent and see the truth in my words.

"I did have a goal. It was to see Edward one last time and tell him I love him, but he clearly doesn't want to hear what I have to say anymore. And it's not 'the twins' it's OUR twins, Edward. It takes two people to make babies, so just stop playing dumb and actually fess up because you helped in making our miracles!" she sounded angry as she raised herself up on her elbow. Her voice was slight hoarse, but it was getting a lot better. I felt happiness swell in me as she said 'ours' instead of 'hers'. Then that happiness died as I realized that she believes that I didn't want to hear what she had to say anymore. I wished she could see it from my point that it was very hard to believe that the twins are really mine.

I winced in regret and sadness as I lowered my arms and walked towards her. I placed one knee on the bed and reached my hand out to touch where our babies rested. I felt calm and happy as I rubbed over the bump slightly, feeling them squirm under my touch.

"So, they really are mine then?" I questioned as I looked back up at her, hope and happiness coursing through me as the idea finally hit me. I was going to become a father with the most beautiful woman at my side. I couldn't think of anything better than that.

Confusion colored her face as she stared at me, "Edward, you are my hallucination, remember? You already know everything about what is going on with my cancer and how much pain I've been in. You already know I'm pregnant with your twins, so why do you need reassurance that the twins are yours?"

Realization struck me as she thought she was speaking to her hallucination the whole time. I couldn't hold back the wince as sadness took over me. I felt horrible that she couldn't differentiate the real me from the hallucination. I felt so bad for putting her through this and I felt like I could cry again at her simple statement of me being a hallucination that her mind fabricated just so I could be here with her.

"Love, I'm not a hallucination. I'm the real Edward," I tried to explain. I saw her eyes widened at my confession and a blush took over her face as shame started to cloud her eyes before she buried her head in the pillow. "How long have you been in the room with me?" she groaned into the pillow, still refusing to look at me.

"I came in last night, though I've been listening to you from the beginning. It hurt so much that I put you in so much pain and sadness and I couldn't do anything. Alice told me that she saw that I would do nothing, but harm you farther if I went in. I couldn't take it anymore and I came in last night, only to find you crying in your sleep. I held you till you were starting to wake up and stood back to see if you would notice me. I just grew frustrated that you were doing this to yourself that I just slipped up and talked." I started to pet her hair, hoping it would calm both her and me as I formed my apology on my lips.

"I snapped out of my stupidity and realize that you are not the kind to cheat on me and I know that you would never purposely get pregnant either. I just never imagined that a vampire could get someone pregnant." I was still awed over the fact that _I_ got her pregnant and not some human boy that was undeserving of her love. I couldn't help but smile as I stared at her growing bump where our children lay safely protected from the world.

I felt age old male pride swell in me at the knowledge that my seed was planted in her womb, giving her a child and I felt even more pride at the knowledge that I gave her two children.

I saw her peeking out from the pillow with a bit of a wary expression in her brown doe eyes and tears leak out from her eyes. I realized that she needed more reassurance. I would continue to do so until she felt safe and loved in the knowledge that I truly do love her and our kids.

"Love, you can't imagine how happy it makes me to know that we are having kids." I admitted softly as I watched her turn on her back to stare at me. I looked back down at her stomach, remembering the recent ultrasound picture that Alice showed me of our children. I leaned down to kiss Baby A before moving on to kiss Baby B, marveling at the fact that they are both there and alive and they were all _mine_. I smelt salt water again as I looked up at the tears leaking from her brown eyes. I worried briefly if she was unhappy at me doing that without her permission since it is her body, but then she spoke.

"I do know, Edward. When I found out that I was pregnant with our twins, it was the only thing that kept me living through the devastating realization that I have terminal cancer. They are our miracles that I am proud to call mine." I felt relief rush through me at the fact that she wasn't mad at me for kissing her stomach and at the fact that she was happy at having our children. I couldn't stop smiling at the fact that we were having a family, something that was impossible with vampires. I leaned up to kiss her forehead, yearning to kiss her lips, but holding myself back. I was so grateful to this wonderful woman that held our children in her.

"I love you Isabella Marie Swan," I whispered against her forehead, feeling such love and joy coursing through my body. I heard her suck in a shuddering breath as she replied, "I love you Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

I beamed as I leaned my forehead against hers to stare into her beautiful brown eyes. I felt so much lighter than I had ever been before.

I had to admit I didn't have two miracles. I have three.

I glanced down at her lips, having a strong urge to kiss her. I didn't know if I should or not or if she would want me to after all I put her through. I saw her lips tilt up in a smile as she leaned up and kissed me.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the slow, gentle kiss as everything that we said solidified into truth and our issues went away. Our hearts started to heal little by little as we continued to kiss. I knew I still had to be careful, even though the temptation of her blood wasn't there, she was still a human and therefor frail against my might.

I finally found my angel in this dark cold world that I walk in and I would gladly stay by her side for eternity.

**I know, long chapter, but it was a good chapter. Please review, give your ideas, advice, or just leave a comment to support the author. Don't worry I don't charge for reviews ;)**


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